Inspired by The Loom with Kayleigh Mapstone, Executive Director of British Mensa.
Most people don't spend their lives trying to be recognised. They spend them hoping to be understood.
For all the advances we've made in communication, organisations are still wrestling with remarkably human questions. Why do talented people sometimes hesitate to contribute? Why do some communities flourish while others remain passive? Why do individuals who appear successful still describe feeling isolated, overlooked or misunderstood?
These aren't simply questions about workplace culture or community building. They sit at the heart of leadership itself.
Leaders are often encouraged to communicate more clearly, gather more data or introduce new technologies to improve engagement. Yet the conversations that matter most rarely begin with communication. They begin with understanding.
When people feel understood, they become more willing to participate, more confident to challenge ideas and more comfortable bringing their whole selves to the conversation.
That distinction became the thread running through the recent conversation on The Loom, Cantarus' leadership podcast series exploring the questions shaping organisations today. What began as a discussion about intelligence evolved into something far broader: an exploration of the conditions that allow people to participate as themselves rather than as the version they think others expect.
This Leadership Insight draws on a conversation between Lee Adams, CEO of Cantarus, and Kayleigh Mapstone, Executive Director of British Mensa, recorded as part of The Loom.
Rather than summarising the discussion, this article explores the enduring ideas that emerged from it – ideas with relevance far beyond British Mensa or the concept of intelligence itself.
The accompanying recording captures the conversation in full. This Leadership Insight explores what that conversation can teach leaders, organisations and communities long after the discussion has ended.
This is a timely insight for leaders everywhere, because despite continuous investment in employee experience, one recurring challenge remains: people are far more likely to contribute when they feel heard, valued and understood.
Early in the conversation, Kayleigh challenged one of the most common assumptions people make about British Mensa.
From the outside, the organisation is often defined by intelligence and IQ. But the experience Kayleigh described was far more human: members finding somewhere they could have conversations without first having to prove themselves, explain themselves or adapt who they were in order to fit in.
Recognition remains important. Organisations should celebrate achievement and acknowledge contribution. But recognition and understanding serve different purposes.
Recognition confirms that someone's contribution has been valued. Understanding creates the confidence that allows them to make that contribution in the first place. One celebrates what people do. The other makes room for who they are.
The environment Kayleigh described will feel familiar to anyone who has experienced genuine belonging. It is not one where everyone thinks the same. It is one where people feel confident enough to think differently.
Throughout the discussion, Kayleigh returned to the importance of creating spaces where people do not feel the need to edit themselves before participating. For many members, British Mensa provides exactly that: not somewhere to demonstrate intelligence, but somewhere to relax into it.
The same principle applies far beyond membership organisations. In every workplace, people decide which parts of themselves to reveal, which ideas to share and when it feels safer to remain silent than risk being misunderstood.
Leaders often ask how they can encourage greater participation. The conversation suggests that participation is rarely the starting point. People first decide whether it feels safe to contribute. They ask themselves quieter questions:
When the answer to those questions is yes, participation becomes far more natural.
As the conversation developed, Lee broadened the discussion beyond British Mensa itself and onto the communities that people actively choose to become part of.
Kayleigh's reflections suggested that communities are rarely sustained simply because people share a characteristic. They endure because they create an environment where people feel comfortable participating.
British Mensa may begin with a shared threshold for membership, but what members continue to value is the opportunity to exchange ideas openly, explore interests freely and spend time with people who understand one another's curiosity rather than question it.
Organisations often try to build communities by focusing on what people have in common. The conversation pointed towards something more powerful: communities become stronger when people feel psychologically safe enough to ask questions, offer ideas, disagree respectfully and remain curious.
Participation is not simply an outcome of community. It is one of the ways community is created.
Organisations often measure communities through visible indicators such as attendance, engagement, membership growth or online activity. Those measures are valuable, but they tell us what people did, not necessarily why they chose to participate.
Every contribution begins with a personal decision:
Technology can make participation easier. Culture shapes whether people choose to participate at all.
Although the conversation did not set out to discuss data, it revealed something increasingly relevant for leaders navigating AI, analytics and digital transformation.
Many organisations already collect extensive information about participation, engagement, attendance and behaviour. The challenge is not always a lack of information. It is understanding what that information is telling us.
During the conversation, Kayleigh repeatedly returned to the importance of understanding people rather than simply observing behaviour. That distinction matters as organisations invest in AI, analytics and increasingly sophisticated digital platforms.
Data can reveal patterns, but it cannot explain human experience on its own.
Communities help leaders understand context in a way that dashboards cannot. A decline in participation is useful information; a conversation can help explain why it happened.
As organisations rely more heavily on AI to identify patterns and automate decisions, curiosity becomes even more important. AI can surface relationships within data at remarkable speed. Leaders still need to ask the questions the technology cannot:
Understanding people is not an alternative to data. It is what allows data to become meaningful.
Empathy is often spoken about as a personal quality: something that makes leaders more approachable or kind. The conversation suggested something more significant. Empathy is also an organisational capability.
Modern organisations are increasingly complex. Teams are more geographically dispersed. People bring different expectations and experiences. Digital interactions frequently replace face-to-face conversations, and AI is changing how work is organised.
Against that backdrop, leaders are expected to make decisions that affect people whose experiences may be very different from their own.
That requires more than technical expertise. It requires curiosity, listening, a willingness to challenge assumptions and the humility to recognise that metrics rarely tell the whole story.
Understanding isn't passive.
It requires leaders to remain curious about experiences that differ from their own, ask questions before offering solutions and recognise that disagreement is not necessarily resistance. It also means creating environments where people feel safe enough to contribute honestly.
Empathy is not separate from organisational performance. It enables better decisions by giving leaders a richer understanding of the people those decisions affect.
In that sense, empathy is no longer simply a desirable leadership characteristic.
It is becoming an essential organisational capability.
Find out how British Mensa modernised member communication and implemented an online community platform that fosters a space for member engagement.
One aspect of the conversation felt particularly relevant given the pace of digital transformation.
Neither Lee nor Kayleigh positioned technology as the problem or the complete solution. Instead, they explored the relationship between digital connection and human belonging. That feels increasingly important as organisations invest more heavily in AI-enabled experiences.
Digital platforms have transformed how organisations communicate. Communities that once depended on geography can now exist across continents. Conversations happen instantly, expertise is more accessible and AI can personalise experiences in ways that were unimaginable only a few years ago.
These developments create extraordinary opportunities, but none of them guarantees belonging.
Organisations often measure the success of digital platforms through activity: registrations, downloads, page views, comments, logins or event attendance. These metrics provide valuable signals about engagement, but they tell us very little about how people experience a community.
People rarely describe feeling that they belong because a platform was intuitive or a recommendation engine suggested relevant content. They describe belonging because they found people who listened, felt comfortable asking questions and could contribute without worrying that they would be judged.
The conversation was a reminder that technology should create the conditions for human connection rather than attempt to replace it.
For organisations investing in digital transformation, the question should not simply be:
“How do we build better digital experiences?”
It should also be:
“How do we build digital experiences that help people feel understood?”
Technology may enable participation. Leadership shapes the culture in which participation happens
The broader leadership question raised by this conversation is deceptively simple:
How do organisations create environments where people choose to contribute?
Technology, communication and engagement all have a role to play. But their impact ultimately depends on something more human: whether people feel understood well enough to participate.
That means looking beyond what people do to understand why they do it. Beyond engagement metrics to the experiences behind them. Beyond communicating with employees, members, volunteers and customers to creating opportunities to listen to them.
For leaders, the implication is clear.
Data can inform decisions. Understanding makes better decisions possible.
Participation cannot be demanded. It has to be earned through experiences that help people feel respected, valued and heard.
And perhaps that is the broader lesson from the conversation: the strongest organisations don't simply become better at speaking to people. They become better at understanding them.
Every edition of The Loom is designed to explore questions that continue long after the recording ends. Five ideas from this conversation feel particularly enduring:
Feeling understood matters more than being recognised. Recognition celebrates contribution. Understanding creates the confidence to contribute.
Belonging grows through participation. Information can bring people in, but participation helps them feel part of something.
Psychological safety makes community possible. Shared characteristics may bring people together. Feeling understood encourages them to stay and take part.
Curiosity gives data meaning. Data can show patterns. Curiosity helps leaders understand the people and experiences behind them.
Technology enables connection. People create belonging. Digital tools can make participation easier, but human interaction determines whether it feels meaningful.
Every Leadership Insight concludes with a question, not because there is a single right answer, but because leadership rarely advances through answers alone. It advances through better questions.
So perhaps the most important question raised by this conversation is:
The answer may reveal far more about culture, participation and leadership than any engagement dashboard ever could.
One of the central themes emerging from the conversation was that intelligence does not remove the universal human desire to feel understood. The discussion suggested that people are often looking less for recognition and more for environments where they can contribute without feeling the need to explain or justify who they are.
One of the central themes emerging from the conversation was that intelligence does not remove the universal human desire to feel understood. The discussion suggested that people are often looking less for recognition and more for environments where they can contribute without feeling the need to explain or justify who they are.
The conversation suggested that recognition and understanding fulfil different human needs.
Recognition celebrates what someone has contributed.
Understanding creates the confidence that allows people to contribute in the first place.
Both matter.
But organisations often invest far more energy in recognition than in creating environments where people genuinely feel understood.
The conversation suggested that recognition and understanding fulfil different human needs.
Recognition celebrates what someone has contributed.
Understanding creates the confidence that allows people to contribute in the first place.
Both matter.
But organisations often invest far more energy in recognition than in creating environments where people genuinely feel understood.
Belonging influences whether people choose to participate, share ideas, collaborate and remain engaged. Organisations that cultivate belonging are often better placed to benefit from the full diversity of perspectives within their teams and communities.
Belonging influences whether people choose to participate, share ideas, collaborate and remain engaged. Organisations that cultivate belonging are often better placed to benefit from the full diversity of perspectives within their teams and communities.
Technology can make it easier for people to connect, participate and discover communities.
The conversation suggested, however, that belonging is created by human experience rather than technology itself.
Digital platforms create opportunities for connection.
Leaders and communities create the conditions in which people feel understood.
Technology can make it easier for people to connect, participate and discover communities.
The conversation suggested, however, that belonging is created by human experience rather than technology itself.
Digital platforms create opportunities for connection.
Leaders and communities create the conditions in which people feel understood.
The discussion demonstrated that communities thrive not simply because people share characteristics, but because they create environments where individuals feel understood, respected and able to participate authentically. Those principles have relevance far beyond membership organisations.
The discussion demonstrated that communities thrive not simply because people share characteristics, but because they create environments where individuals feel understood, respected and able to participate authentically. Those principles have relevance far beyond membership organisations.
Every Leadership Insight is designed to stand on its own while encouraging readers to explore the conversation that inspired it.
If you'd like to hear Kayleigh Mapstone's reflections in full, together with Lee Adams' questions and the wider discussion, you can watch this edition of The Loom below.
Every edition of The Loom explores a leadership question through a conversation with a different guest.
The Loom with Mats Persson, CEO of Umbraco
Why Confidence Matters More Than Certainty
Explore the conversation with Mats Persson or read the article inspired by the discussion:
The Loom with Martin Baxter, Deputy CEO at ISEPS
Together we'll explore one of the defining leadership questions facing organisations today:
Why do organisations know what needs to change – yet still struggle to make change happen?
The conversation will explore leadership, organisational capability and what it really takes to turn ambition into lasting organisational change.
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